Facing Fifty

Brace yourself. Well, I mean brace myself. The countdown has begun. In a mere 17 days from now, I'll turn the BIG 5-0. I'm thinking if I talk about it a lot, I'll have fully embraced the new decade by the time July 18 rolls around! Yeah.

I know, I know...it's just a number. But that's easier to say when you're 40. It's an odd feeling to pretty well know you've lived more than half your life already.

Plus I have this extremely vivid memory of my dad turning 50. At 21, I teased him relentlessly about reaching the half-century mark. Back then, age 50 seemed ANCIENT to me. One-foot-in-the-grave old. AARP card-carrying old. Arthritis old. Grey-hair old. You get the picture...

And now here I stand, knocking on fifty's door. I'm not sure what I'm *supposed* to feel like, but I don't think I feel fifty. Been told I don't look it, either, so THAT'S a plus. :) Can't let that go to my head, though, because it's EASY to do. But I know the grey hairs are ever present, peeking through the blonde highlights. I see gravity in action. And it's a little disconcerting to see new facial lines develop that weren't there yesterday. The times, they are a-changin.'

Kidding aside, here's one change for the better: A few years back... God interrupted my life, revealed Himself to me, showed me who *I* was, and set about changing the very core of my being. If you've read my blog at all in the past four years, then you know where I've been and where I am now. Praise God that He is who He says He is and that He is utterly, completely sovereign and IN CONTROL over HIS universe, HIS creation. As God illuminated that truth to me, I view the things of this life very differently.

So...God willing, in the next 17 days He will have seen fit to have me attain the age of fifty. And I will thank Him for however many more birthdays He allows me to see. I also know that "in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." (Psalm 139:16) This truth brings me much comfort, as I continue to trust His sovereign providence over my life.

Limited Atonement

Part 1



Part 2




Part 3

More On the Prosperity Gospel

This is a short, but good commentary from The White Horse Inn.

Smooth Talk and Flattery

Related stories:

Joel Osteen and the Glory Story

Your Own Personal Jesus

YOM

Look at us - Yard of the Month. :-)

And it only took five and a half years.

God Of Wonders

Practice The Truth

I'm participating in an online Bible study of 1 John. (We just started so if anyone is interested, go to Everyday Theology and send Kristine an email.)

In chapter one, verse 6, John tells us, "If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth." It was this 'do not practice the truth' part that pierced my heart. If I'm to stay in the Light, my life must involve practicing the truth. And where is the truth found? Within the God-inspired pages of Holy Writ. And 'how' do I continue on in the Truth? By the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.

I've really been pondering this the last few days. I desperately want to live in the truth, be a 'doer' of the Word, not just a hearer. But I also know I won't be a perfect doer, as long as sin remains in this mortal body of mine. But I have a NEW nature - a heart of flesh replacing the heart of stone. I am ultimately under the control of God's Spirit. Praise Him for that!!!!

As I told a friend, I am desperately dependent on God to not leave me to my own devices. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that I am able to practice the truth so that I don't fall prey to myself or to the sin that so easily entangles me.

I pray, God, please do not remove Your hand from me.

Exposing The Word Of Faith Prosperity 'Gospel'

You've heard me talk about Justin Peters before. I had the honor of meeting and spending a little time with him back in February, when I attended a portion of the Call For Discernment seminar. He's quite the gifted and bold speaker. Bold in a very grace-filled manner. I highly recommend either getting the seminar DVD's or better yet, attend in person. :) Here's a sample.

Justin Peters Ministries

Definition

To 'seek God' means to orient one's life toward Him in active faith and obedience.

I like this working definition of what it means for me to seek God. Taken from the ESV Bible, introduction to 1-2 Chronicles. Just wanted to jot this down so that I could remember it.

The All And In All

As it turns out, Jim McClarty - you remember Jim, I post his sound biblical teaching here - is also a musician. This song says it all...in all.

Scott's Latest Painting

This is the second year that the associate minister of my mother-in-law's church has commissioned Scott to do the theme painting for the youth confirmation class.

I'm proud indeed. :)

Preach On, Matt

Two excellent and unapologetically truth-filled sermons from Matt Chandler.

1) First, the bad news. Scroll down to 4/19/09 - "The Reason"

2) Next, the good news - Paise God! Scroll down to 4/26/09 - "God Saves"

Listen fast, cuz Matt preaches fast. :)

The Best News You Ever Heard - Jim McClarty

Free Will

I can't help but piggyback off some previous comments regarding the nature of human free will.

In my understanding of Scripture, I simply do not glean the concept of an autonomous, unhindered free will. We are always influenced by something. The Bible tells us that the unregenerate person - the one who is at enmity with God, dead in trespasses and sin See Ephesians 2 - is unable to choose anything other than that to which he is bound. Namely sin. Romans 8:5-13 (There's so much more in Scripture on the subject, but this is a short post. Really.)

Trite but true is the adage - we're not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. Our nature is sinful. That is our essence. And we are slaves to sin. Romans 6:16

And we will remain that way unless and until the Sovereign God interrupts our lives to change us and give us a new nature. And make no mistake - God interrupts and intervenes. He does according to HIS will. Human will can NEVER supercede God's will. Period. Paragraph.

Here's but one example: Genesis 20 Pay particular attention to verses 3-7. There's no getting around the fact that God prevented a man from sinning against Him. Of course there are countless other examples in Scripture of God doing exactly as He wills, when He wills, and how He wills. The Bible is, after all, God's revelation of Himself. Probably the most well known account of God's radical intervention in someone's life is the story of Saul/Paul on the road to Damascus. Acts 22

For His dominion is an everlasting dominion,
And His kingdom endures from generation to generation.
All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing,
But He does according His will in the host of heaven
And among the inhabitants of earth;
And no one can ward off His hand
Or say to Him, 'What have You done?'
~Daniel 4:34-35

God, I beg you, NEVER leave me to my own devices or my own will.

More Thoughts on Suicide

Not to be confused with suicidal thoughts; I'm not having any. I do continue to be haunted by the death of my friend, though. As I mentioned in Sunday's post, I've not personally known anyone, until now, who has ever committed suicide. I suppose that's the reason this still weighs heavy on my mind.

I don't think I'll ever "get it." I've decided that feelings of depression/despondency/torment/hopelessness, etc. must be much like physical pain - you can't measure the degree to which someone else experiences it. Further, what might drive one person to those kinds of feelings may not drive someone else to the same feelings. You simply cannot get inside another person's head.

And then there's the very conscience, deliberate act of taking your own life. Whether it's by way of something serene like swallowing pills, or a more ghastly, violent approach like jumping from a bridge or putting a gun to your head; someone has to physcially, with great intent perform the act upon him/herself. The thought of that terrifies me.

When I was a teenager/young adult - completely ignorant of the faith - I quite adamently proclaimed that people who committed suicide automatically went to hell. That was the only sin for which you couldn't ask forgiveness, so... it was too late and you missed your chance. How works-based and wrong-headed is that idea? Of course I now know better, and if you are His, Christ died for your every sin, indeed for the totality of your sinful essence.

Which brings me to the sovereignty of God, and ALL things come back to the sovereignty of God. If I believe the Bible to be God's revelation of Himself (and I do), then I cannot escape the fact that God IS in control of all things, and that there stands not a single entity on earth more powerful than He. There is none other in authority, as it is God alone who rules and reigns over His own creation. We are but mere creatures, and God does HIS will among His creatures. He alone gives life, He alone takes life. In that, it seems I am forced to conclude that in reality, my friend did not (actually) take her own life - for if she did, then it would be she whose will superceded that of the Lord's. What she did would have been an act independent of and apart from the will of God - something that took Him by surprise and for which there was nothing He could do. But,

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. Psalm 139:16

J's days, my days, all of our days are ordained for us.

From all indications (guestbook comments on the funeral home site), J was a Christian. However I have no tangible way of truly knowing the condition of her heart before God. I hope she was one His redeemed. But if she was, I am so saddened that, for whatever reason, her hope for coping with life on this earth was not in Him.

Still I will continue to work through all of this.

Left Behind

Last night I learned of the suicide death of one of my friends/high school classmates. Though not having been a regular part of each other's lives since about halfway through school, I still actually knew her. And until now, I'd never personally known anyone who'd ever taken their own life. The last time I saw J was at our 30th high school reunion in 2007, and she certainly seemed her quirky, gregarious self then.

The news hit me rather hard, actually, one reason being that she chose quite a gruesome way to leave this world - by jumping from a high flyover bridge in Austin, our hometown. And since my blog is a place for me to work through things, I'm just going to be frank here: after my initial shock from the tragic news, I was somewhat angered. Obviously she wasn't thinking clearly in the first place, or she wouldn't have done this, but why harm others in the process? Below is an excerpt from the email I recieved, which was forwarded to me. The original email was written by a friend of her parents to friends of the parents: (J suffered from a form of epilepsy, which apparently couldn't be managed well any longer)

"They (her parents) feel that she is now at peace, and well, and that she demonstrated her faith by wanting to leave this life and be with Christ in a better place. J (her mother) and I (writer of email) agreed that J (my friend) had done this as an act of love for them (her parents), because her continuing illness would be harder and harder, both on her and on J (her mother) who would be caring for her."

This thinking is whacked; I'm sorry. It's not "loving" to jump into traffic, potentially causing accidents, and scarring for life those who witnessed it or possibly hit her. It's not loving at all to leave your loved ones reeling from such an act. It's also wrong-headed thinking regarding what it means to demonstrate faith. What it actually demonstrates is that people lie to themselves, and others, in any effort to feel better. That's why we must be grounded in the truth of the Word of God, for it is only there that we find real comfort for our grieving souls. It is only there where we find truths about life and death. And it is only there where we find our great sovereign God, Creator and Sustainer of all things, who loves and comforts perfectly.

In reading through this, it does come across a bit harsh, but as I said, I'm working through the thoughts and feelings accompanying this news. Certainly I ache for J's parents, who've lost their only daughter. And I ache for my friend, who must have been tremendously tortured in her soul and obviously saw no other alternative in front of her.

May God pour out His mercy to J's parents, her two brothers, and the friends she's left behind. God, as He says, works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose; so we can trust that He will do that in this sad and tragic circumstance.