Facing Fifty

Brace yourself. Well, I mean brace myself. The countdown has begun. In a mere 17 days from now, I'll turn the BIG 5-0. I'm thinking if I talk about it a lot, I'll have fully embraced the new decade by the time July 18 rolls around! Yeah.

I know, I know...it's just a number. But that's easier to say when you're 40. It's an odd feeling to pretty well know you've lived more than half your life already.

Plus I have this extremely vivid memory of my dad turning 50. At 21, I teased him relentlessly about reaching the half-century mark. Back then, age 50 seemed ANCIENT to me. One-foot-in-the-grave old. AARP card-carrying old. Arthritis old. Grey-hair old. You get the picture...

And now here I stand, knocking on fifty's door. I'm not sure what I'm *supposed* to feel like, but I don't think I feel fifty. Been told I don't look it, either, so THAT'S a plus. :) Can't let that go to my head, though, because it's EASY to do. But I know the grey hairs are ever present, peeking through the blonde highlights. I see gravity in action. And it's a little disconcerting to see new facial lines develop that weren't there yesterday. The times, they are a-changin.'

Kidding aside, here's one change for the better: A few years back... God interrupted my life, revealed Himself to me, showed me who *I* was, and set about changing the very core of my being. If you've read my blog at all in the past four years, then you know where I've been and where I am now. Praise God that He is who He says He is and that He is utterly, completely sovereign and IN CONTROL over HIS universe, HIS creation. As God illuminated that truth to me, I view the things of this life very differently.

So...God willing, in the next 17 days He will have seen fit to have me attain the age of fifty. And I will thank Him for however many more birthdays He allows me to see. I also know that "in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them." (Psalm 139:16) This truth brings me much comfort, as I continue to trust His sovereign providence over my life.